Driven From Provision

16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

18 “Bring them here to me,” he said.

-Matthew 14-

The past couple of weeks, I am not even going to lie, have been very difficult for me. As I am sitting here writing this to you, I am unemployed and have been facing some sickness that I can't seem to shake. My whole body, physically and mentally is breaking down. A few weeks ago I unfortunately lost my job and I have yet to bounce back into action from it. I have done all of the leg work with putting in so many resumés and emails, that I am quite surprised my fingers have not fallen off yet. I have quite frankly felt so defeated the past few weeks. As a male, I find it my natural right to provide for my family, but when it gets to the point that it seems like your wife is working harder than you are, it does something to your neurological wavelengths. As I sit at home and watch her go to work everyday, I can't help but to feel worthless. Daily I am reminded that I am no longer the provider at the moment and not to mention, the trap of comparison begins to creep in. I look at everyone else around me and notice that they are where I want to be or doing the things I want to be doing, but here I am, sitting.....and....waiting. I recently filed for my unemployment and just that process in itself is not fun. I feel like a 12 year old digging in the couch for some left over change so that I can play the claw machine when we go to lunch at pizza hut. But as the process continued in filing the paperwork, my representative said something to me that hit me like a ton of bricks. She stated that God always provides no matter what season we are in. Now this lady had no idea that I was a pastor or anything of that nature because we just started our conversation. I was absolutely floored that God met me, in my despair. In Matthew 14, Jesus just got the news that his cousin (John the Baptist) had been killed. Like anyone would, Jesus wanted to kinda get away from everything and have a moment to himself. But the crowds followed. Thousands of people gathered around and the disciples were aware of the news about John the Baptist and they figured that they needed to send everyone away. But I love Jesus' response, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

What we go through is never an inconvience to Jesus. He is always listening and watching for an opportunity to help. The disciples knew they only had a few items to give the people but what Jesus did next would make anyone faint with disbelief. Jesus broke the bread and gave thanks, and then ALL of the people were satisfied. Scripture says there were around 5000 men, not including the women and children. WOW!! Through my unemployment and shortcomings, God still provides. Gods provision helps me to stay focused on the task at hand. I am driven from God's provision. Now when I talk about provision, I don't mean gifts or blessings, but I am simply referring to his faithfulness and grace that he provides us with everyday. I am so thankful that even though I offer very little to God, compared to what he has given me, he can still take it and multiply it for the good of those around you. God is not afraid of your shortcomings. As a matter of fact he loves them. Paul states in 2 Corinthians 9 that "10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God always shows in strengths in our weaknesses. So if you are going through weakensses today, I have good news for you. God is preparing the miracle behind your mistake. God is not afraid of the cracks and the creases that seem so big to you. I encourage you to cast all of your cares onto him in this moment and know that he cares for you. Let your life be DRIVEN FROM PROVISION!

-A P-